I Am Crying All the Time! Is it Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression? 🌧

Becoming a mother is one of the most powerful and emotional transitions you’ll ever go through in your life....

Overnight you life changed.

You have new responsibilities, someone depends on you 24.7, you thought you were prepared...? But nothing can prepare your for this tsunami. The pain can be real, the emotions sweep you off your feet.

If you’ve found yourself crying easily, feeling overwhelmed, or wondering if you’re “good enough,” please know you are not alone.

It’s important, though, to understand the difference between the baby blues and postpartum depression (PPD), so you can take care of yourself and know when to reach out for help.

Let's start with some definitions...

What is the Postpartum?

Postpartum refers to the period after childbirth, during which a mother’s body heals and adjusts to life after birth. This time involves physical recovery, emotional shifts, and bonding with the newborn.

While the postpartum “ends” technically (in medical terms) when a woman’s period returns, some suggest that postpartum can last up to 3 years, highlighting that this transition involves not only recovery but also ongoing physical, emotional, and psychological adjustments as a mother integrates her new identity into her life. I love the word "matrescence", like adolescence + motherhood (mater): this is the transformation a woman goes through when becoming a mother.

Remember your adolescence? Hormones, new ideas, anger, love, sadness, freedom, excitement.. all this mixed up! It’s a time of deep change physically and emotionally that can bring both joy and struggle. Matrescence in the postpartum period is the same.

Taking care of the mother during this time is crucial.

The needs of baby and Mama are the same…

• Sleeping

• Eating, Drinking 

• Crying

• Feeling contained, held, loved

• Affective security, non judgement

• Companionship, validation

Your need to be loved, held, and accepted and to cry is at the same level as vital needs such as eating, sleeping!

Baby Blues 🌙

The baby blues are extremely common. Around 80% of new mums experience them. They usually appear 3–5 days after birth and can last up to two weeks.

Typical signs are:

• Tearfulness for no clear reason

• Feeling more sensitive or easily overwhelmed

• Mood swings

• Trouble sleeping (beyond what’s expected with a newborn)

The baby blues are linked to hormonal shifts, physical recovery, and the huge life change you’re going through. They are temporary and usually ease on their own.

Postpartum Depression (PPD) 🌧

If your low mood lasts beyond two weeks, or feels heavier than “just” the baby blues, it could be postpartum depression.

Signs may include:

• Persistent sadness, hopelessness, or guilt

• Difficulty bonding with your baby

• Feeling anxious, irritable, or very tired

• Loss of interest in things you normally enjoy

• Trouble coping with daily tasks

• Thoughts of harming yourself or feeling your baby would be better off without you (if this happens, please reach out for immediate support)

PPD is not your fault. It’s a medical condition that many mothers experience — and with the right support, recovery is possible. There are some risk factors, but cause, and why some people experience it and not other is still not clear for science!

The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS)

One helpful resource is the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, a short questionnaire used worldwide by health professionals.

👉 You can try it yourself here:

• English version

• French version

⚠️ Important: this test is not a diagnosis. Only a doctor or midwife can diagnose PPD. But the questionnaire can help you reflect on how you’ve been feeling and open the door to important conversations. You may do it every now and then to track the evolution of your mood.

What to Do If You’re Worried

• Talk to someone you trust. Your partner, a close friend, doula or another mum who gets it.

• Share with your midwife, doctor, or health visitor. They are there to support you, not to judge you.

• Seek professional help if your low mood continues. You deserve support, and asking for it is a sign of strength.

Intrusive Thoughts 🤯 (The Ones No One Talks About)

Many mums are shocked by scary or strange thoughts that pop into their head like “What if I drop the baby?” or even “What if I hurt the baby?” These are called intrusive thoughts.

👉 Here’s what you need to know:

• They are surprisingly common after birth.

• Having them does not mean you want to hurt your baby.

Most of the time, they are a result of your protective instincts and anxious brain trying to imagine every possible danger.

If you notice these thoughts but they upset you and you would never act on them, know that you are not alone and not a “bad mother.” Talking about them with a trusted friend, your partner, or a professional can bring huge relief.

⚠️ However, if these thoughts become constant, overwhelming, or you ever feel like you might act on them, please seek professional help right away.

A Gentle Reminder 💛

Crying when your baby cries, feeling disconnected of jealous of your partner, regretting your old body or old life, or wondering if you’re “enough” are all feelings many mums have in the early days.

If you’re not sure whether you’re experiencing baby blues or something deeper, the Edinburgh Scale can be a first step. Use it as a mirror: and if it raises concerns, please reach out. You do not need to go through this alone.

✨Take it day by day... you are learning a new role, a new life!

As a doula I offer postpartum support. As a working mum of 2, and entrepreneur who is also an expat with no direct family around, I know how important it is to find support that is reliable and heartfelt. Explore my services