Do I Really Need to "Learn" How to Breastfeed? Guide From A Berlin Doula

You might wonder: Do I really need to learn the theory behind breastfeeding? Isn't breastfeeding completely natural?

I hear this all the time, but here is the truth: Your body will know how to produce milk, but breastfeeding is a skill that both you and your baby have to practice and learn together.

In the past, people lived close to their families, grew up seeing women nurse their babies. Today many of us have never even seen a baby breastfeed up close until our own is born. This is missing...

Also, modern lives can make it harder for us to really commit to breastfeeding, especially in the first weeks, months: commitments, pressure to be active/get out of the house, return to work etc.

I am giving you some keys here, to support you practically, so that you feel confident starting this journey.

If you want to breastfeed your baby exclusively... Believe you can!! Believe in yourself and your capacity to breastfeed. 99% of women are anatomically able to produce enough milk. But many report they do not have enough milk.

Why? Because not all babies will know instinctively how to latch. Not all mothers understand the physiology of breastfeeding and are prepared to the discipline and endurance required by the journey ahead.

Many young mothers do not put their baby at the breast correctly, or not frequently enough, or do not troubleshoot issues early - This is not your fault! I think the lack of information and the awareness around available support is a systemic issue.

Hence a bit of education prior to birth is key, as you'll start breastfeeding the moment baby is born.

Wether you are planning for a vaginal birth or C-section all these informations apply.

Anne Matei doula in Berlin

The Golden Rules of Breastfeeding

Here are the most important basics from my breastfeeding "Bible" - for newborns (first days/weeks)". If you remember these core points before your baby arrives, you will feel much more confident:

The Golden Key: A Deep Latch

If you remember only one thing, let it be this: A deep latch is the key to successful breastfeeding = how baby is attached to the breast is super important!!

When a baby has a shallow latch, it hurts your nipples and causes painful feeding. Even worse, a shallow latch is ineffective, the baby cannot drain the breast properly. This creates a dangerous vicious circle: because the breast isn't emptied, your milk production drops. Because your production drops, the baby doesn't get enough milk and loses weight.  

Take a moment to learn what a deep latch actually looks like. This video is a must-watch: you may sit down with your birth partner and watch this video (as many times as necessary to integrate the info) before your baby arrives! Knowing what a good latch looks like beforehand changes everything.  

latching baby correctly is a must

What if the latch is still hard?

Sometimes, a bad latch can be caused by physical reasons, such as:

• Baby's anatomy: Issues like a tongue-tie or a lip-tie make it hard for the tongue to move correctly.  

• Birth discomfort: The birth process (vaginal and C-section) can cause tension in your baby's neck/jaws such as assymetric tensions, torticollis. If they prefer turning their head to only one side, they will struggle to latch on the other side. If they can't open wide, latch may be shallow.

If you suspect any of these issues, do not wait. Reach out to a professional early. You can talk to your hospital/home midwives, an IBCLC lactation consultant, or your pediatrician. For body tension or oral issues, specialized professionals like paediatric osteopaths, chiropractors, or oral sphere experts can work wonders. 

More Important Keys To Understand Breastfeeding

• The first hours and days are VERY important. Make skin-to-skin contact your biggest priority right after birth. Holding your baby bare-chested on your skin helps them feel safe and ready to feed, builds a strong bond, and tells your body to start making milk.  If you are planning a C-section, consult my guide to read more tips on breastfeeding.

• If possible, make a quiet environment for your baby to latch in the first 1-2 hours after birth (phone off, no loud voices, dim lights etc.). Note that initially you will produce colostrum then milk will come in (day2-5 approximately). You have colostrum already on your breasts during pregnancy. Don't expect to see loads of white milk come out of your breast the first day, this is not real. Newborns have stomachs the size of a cherry pit and your colostrum is very rich.

• Feed on demand, not by the clock. Do not look at the time. Instead, look at your baby's hunger cues. If they are sucking on their hands, licking their lips, or waking up, put them to the breast. Don't wait for them to cry, often this is too late! Newborns usually feed 8 to 12 times every 24 hours. You cannot overfeed or spoil a breastfed baby!  

feeding cues - credit NHS

• Milk supply works on "supply and demand." The more your baby nurses, the more milk your body makes. You need to disciplined in oder to breastfeed very regularly night and day (every 2-4 hours minimum but best is, whenever baby is a bit awake (see cues above)!) Make skin-to-skin time a priority. For the first days and weeks of baby try to stay home and cosy and hold baby naked on your bare chest. This is the best way to bond and invite a beautiful milk supply. "Cluster feeding"when your baby wants to nurse constantly for hours, this is totally normal. It happens during growth spurts and does not mean you are running out of milk. Your midwife is here to advise you. Don't hesitate to get this professional help!

  Your baby will gradually be more predictable, robust and better at telling you when they need feeding, but this takes weeks/months.

Wake up sleepy babies. YES! You read me correctly ! This is the biggest mistake I see most new parents do, they think they are lucky to have a baby who sleeps a lot: actually, often, your baby is so low on energy that they can enter an energy-saving mode. Make it a priority to wake them up and feed them very often (ideally every 1-3 hours) and make sure they drink! Often you need to set up an alarm. Sometimes you need to really insist to wake them. Ask for help if baby does not drink regularly and is very sleepy! 

Note that, especially if you have a highly medicalised birth (like with an epidural, instruments, opiates, or a C-section), your baby might be very sleepy at first.) Skin-to-skin is key after birth. You may need to let baby rest a little bit at first before he can latch. Ask the staff for advice, as early as possible. Read guide on C-section

• Switch breasts: Let your newborn finish the first breast until they slow down or fall asleep. Then, wake them up a bit and offer the second breast. Start your next feeding session with the breast you used last.  This allows baby to get a little extra, and your breasts to work a bit harder.

• Breastfeeding should not hurt. A little tenderness is normal, but real pain means something is wrong. Injured nipples for example, often means baby is latched too shallow and pinches your nipple. Often, pain= the baby's position or latch needs adjustment (not always, read on causes here). A good latch is key to protecting your nipples and making sure baby gets enough milk.  

• Count wet diapers. Wondering if your baby is getting enough milk? Count their diapers. After the first week, aim for at least 6 heavy, wet diapers every day. Your midwife should come home and weight your newborn regularly. It is very important to trouble shoot any issues early, otherwise your milk supply might be too low and your baby will start being supplemented with formula. And the vicious circle begins (less supply, less demand, leads to less supply, less demand and so on!)

• Many positions are possible, test them with baby and find what work best for you! After a C-section opt for positions where baby does not touch the scar areas (e.g. side lying, "football hold" etc.)

  
  

  

  credit to Pampers

  
  

• Do not forget to hydrate and eat! You may feel hungrier, and more thirsty when you breastfeed. It is very normal, you need more calories! Keep a big water bottle and snacks near you. Read more on relation to nutrition and breastfeeding. Zero alcohol when breastfeeding, and be cautious using medication.  If you ever need to check if a medication is safe to take while breastfeeding, you can look it up on the official German database: embryotox.de.  

How Germans See Breastfeeding ("Stillen") ?

In German, the word for breastfeeding is "stillen". This word actually means to calm down or to soothe. It perfectly captures how people here view it: breastfeeding is not just about nutrition. It is about bonding, creating reassurance, warmth...

As an expat from France who had two kids here in Germany, this culture surprised me at first. In Germany, breastfeeding is the absolute norm. The entire medical system assumes you will try it, and everything is set up to help you succeed.

If you want to breastfeed, this environment is amazing! However, if you cannot or choose not to breastfeed, this intense focus can sometimes feel a bit overwhelming.

Breastfeeding in Public in Berlin

One of the best things about living here is how normal it is to nurse in public. I have seen women breastfeed casually in cafés, restaurants, public parks, swimming pools, and on trains. Usually, people pay absolutely no attention. The only comments I have ever received myself were positive.

The "Stillecke"

Did you know that there are even dedicated breastfeeding corners around the city? Many shops, cafés, and drugstores (like DM or Rossmann, ikea) offer these quiet spaces, called a "Stillecke" (breastfeeding corner). They often come with a diaper changing area and even free diapers, a cozy chair, curtain and dim lighthing.

This site shows you an overview of places to breastfeed (Stillmöglichkeit) and to change nappies (Wickelmöglichkeit) across the city. And here you can see which DM has a place to breastfeed.

Find a couple in your area, this may come handy when you go out with baby the first times if you are not fully confident breastfeeding in public. Of course it is not very private but already a bit cozier than an open space.

DM shop

Finding Your Support Village in Berlin

You do not have to figure this out alone, Berlin has amazing resources...!

At the Hospital

If you are choosing a hospital, look for clinics with the “babyfreundlich” (Baby-Friendly) label. These hospitals follow strict international rules to support bonding and breastfeeding right after birth. They focus on skin-to-skin contact and keeping your baby in your room, and supporting you with expert advice. (Tip: You can use the filter on my map to see exactly which Berlin hospitals are certified baby-friendly!)  

When you are in the hospital after giving birth, the staff can help you position your baby and check on your latch and baby's weight gain. Many clinics have a lactation consultant (Stillberaterin) on the ward. Please ask them for help if you feel unsure. Read here to know what to expect from the postpartum stay in the hospital.

Support At Home From Your Midwife

Once you are home, your Hebamme (midwife) comes to your home, usually daily, providing guidance. They check the latch, weigh the baby, and troubleshoot problems early.

Support Groups (Stillgruppe)

Getting together with other parents is wonderful for your mental health. In Germany, these groups are called a Stillgruppe or Stillcafé.  Ask your midwife or clinic/Geburtshaus where you gave birth when they hold these groups.

More Support...

• Most birth prep courses (Geburtsvorbereitungskurs) will cover some basics regarding breastfeeding. Ask in advance about the content. See list of courses in Berlin, in english.

• La Leche League: An international non-profit with a website full of great articles. You can search for any topic, like sore nipples, low milk supply, or cow's milk intolerances. They also have in-person meetings in Berlin.  On their site, type keywords on the search bar (e.g. pain in nipple, gassy baby etc. to consult articles)

• IBCLC Consultants: If you have severe pain, or suspect issues like a tongue-tie or reflux, look for an IBCLC. These are highly qualified, certified healthcare professionals who specialize in breastfeeding. You can Google "IBCLC Berlin" to find someone.

• If you have issues with a baby who is crying a lot and can not find solutions with your paediatrician/midwife etc, you may look for a  Schreibabyambulanz

Want to feel completely ready - Organise a 1-1 Session?

As a doula I offer 1-on-1 prenatal breastfeeding preparation sessions. Together, we will discuss latching, positioning, talk about what to expect in the first hours, talk about organisation and partner support etc. Doulas are not medical professionals. You may also seek support from a lactation consultant to prepare before birth.

I also offer support before during and after birth.

Anne Matei is a birth and postpartum doula based in Berlin, supporting French-, English-, and German-speaking families. She accompanies births in hospitals, birth centers, and home births alongside midwives. Read what families say about working with her in client testimonials. Feel free to get in touch to schedule a non-binding introductory call.

Awesome Reads

▪ Gray, R. and Hills, A. (2015). Born to Breastfeeding: The First Six Weeks and Beyond.

▪ Kaplan, R. and Theuring, A. (2018). Latch: A Handbook for Breastfeeding with Confidence at Every Stage.

▪ Logan, J.V. and Sangodele-Ayoka, A. (2014). Free to Breastfeed: Voices of Black Mothers.

▪ Mohrbacher, N. and Kendall-Tackett, K. (2010). Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers.